The old days!!!

It was just a usual first meeting with her
No any thoughts, possessions and feelings
The only thing I remember of her is that appealing smile.

She sent friend request on facebook
Everyone does, its normal, I thought and added her back.
She used to like my posts and pictures,
At times, comment too.
I did the same.
Till then conversation had not commenced.
And the process went on and on for ages.

That day, I still remember, with no reasons.
All of sudden, I was in desperate to talk to her.
After-all its a will and why ignore.
I thought it was probably the best time I could initiate talking.
An ounce of perplexity, anxiety and excitement mounting.
She was offline; a sigh of relief. 
Straightaway I messaged her with great courage
Knowing not how she’d react.
And, this is how the simplest of thing started in a majestic approach.

I used to search for reasons to speak to her and wonder when she’d be online
But, I could not express that feeling with her.
I was disheartened to see the sent messages “seen” and yet not-replied.
Later, it used to be the moment of ecstasy when she continued conversation on her own.

I’d love to talk about love, deep feelings and all
Within the confined walls of thoughts, unfortunately
And, I had no courage to confess with her even though I significantly wanted to

I wish she’d by the side
But that longed all in the desires, not-going-to-happen part of life.
And slowly, we had grown intimate
At least from my side
I was comfortable sharing everything with her
 Except for the part that I loved her.
The fears would fence and filter it automatically.

I guess she’d the similar feelings
For she’s a girl and why would she commence
Rather she wanted me to proceed first, maybe.

I was afraid and clueless thinking if it’s too quick to confess her
And scream “I love you”
But again, the future responses and reactions
Oh, it’s not probably the right time
I postponed that splendid day for the future.
Poor me, the day never appeared.

Being good friends always gave me the mixed emotions
I questioned myself if I am fooling myself with the delusion of being loved.
“Always being good friends and later end up seeing her on the other’s arms?”
Or
“Disclosing the truth and deciding the fate?”
Indecisiveness act with no actions.